every time i try to interact with guys, it seems like i’m always finding the ones that are either brokenhearted or depressed — worst, both. hindi naman siguro masamang umasa sa mga lalaking nakikilala ko sa internet. well, not all guys that i’ve met are decent but yung iba sobrang saya kausap, may substance kaso mga hindi na naniniwala sa second chance in love. lagi na lang ba akong stuck sa ganoong sitwasyon? parusa ba to?
Why is it so hard to actually like the things you want?
I am a Christian and you all know that Christians are very much oppose to the secular world.
But I’m also an enthusiast to a lot of things. I love fashion that makes a difference. Something bold to create authenticity and stands for what is the truth. I also support quirky and carefree people, girls who are not afraid to promote body positivity and those who are not afraid to show the vulnerable side of each individual.
Pero, most of the time people from church judge me from what I stand with.
It’s because they don’t know the ‘world’ I’m living with.
Mahirap to be yourself especially if you’re with people from church. They tend to criticize the way you talk, behave and dress. \
Pero I’m not blaming them. For once, I finally found a place to heal all my scars but after I’m gone everything just go back back to the way it used to be. I want to changed – spiritually pero every time I’m with this certain circle of friends, I fall back.
Totoo pala yung, you’ll be more happier if you’re with the world. But at the end of the day, pagsisisihan mo lang kasi it was a very stupid thing that you did.
To sum it up,
Bakit ganon? You’re doing your best to be part of a community but at the same time you just can’t easily let your real self to slip kasi baka majudge ka.
It’s hard to balance spiritual life from your secular life. It’s too ironic.
Bakit ganon, mas masakit pa yung i-take for granted yung feelings mo kesa paglaruan yung katawan mo?
Sino relate dito? Totoo naman kase, na mas elevated yung pain kapag feelings mo yung pinaglaruan. Kase for me, yan yung pinaka-vulnerable part ng sarili mo. Yeah, someone who left you after giving your body to someone hurts too pero iba yung pagdating sa feelings eh. Or is it because iba lang yung level ng intesity nila.
But I know for a fact na once you got hurt emotionally, everything else in your body is affected. Mawawalan ka ng gana gumalaw, to be productive and worst — to communicate with people. I hate this feeling, as much as possible gagawin ko na lang ang lahat just to avoid getting hurt emotionally.
Bakit ganon, ang dali lang sa tao na mag-bahagi ng parte nila sa hindi nila kilala? How can they share something so pure and fragile to strangers? Tapos makikipagpalagayan ka ng loob, tapos iiwan mo yung tao along all your secrets and stories. JUST LIKE THAT. Parang binigyan ka lang nila ng kapiraso ng paborito mong cookie tapos kinain nila yung natira. Nag-crave ka tuloy dun sa paborito mong cookie.
Bakit ang dali? Hindi ba nila alam na once you share a piece of your life to us mag-eexpect na kame na kami na yung crying shoulder nyo, kami na yung taong pinagkakatiwalaan nyo. It’s like giving something na mahirap ilet go pero binigay mo parin kase you trust us.
Am I making sense? Nakakainis lang kase.